"I'm OK, you're OK-in small doses"

I recently read a wonderful piece called "Caring for Your Introvert," in which Jonathan Rauch provides clarity and insight into the world of introverts, only 25 percent of people, and sorely misunderstood by the rest of the population, the extraverts, who, according to Rauch "cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone."

The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself. While extraverts are energized by people, introverts find other people tiring. I hate small talk. I get bored at parties. When I'm around people for more than an hour, sometimes less, I get irritated, even angry, and feel a strong desire to crawl into a deep, quiet hole in the ground and curl up into the shape of a tiny ball. I need hours alone each day to be with my thoughts and to recuperate from social interaction. For this, Rauch provides a formula..."roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing." Sounds good to me.

Rauch believes introverts are oppressed, and I would say he's right. Perhaps this is because we are a minority, and extraverts are generally seen as the norm in any social setting and in public life, such as politics. Rauch explains, "being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of confidence, happiness, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. 'People person' is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like 'guarded,' 'loner,' 'reserved'..." and other titles that suggest we are unsociable or have poor social skills.

I used to believe there was something wrong with me because I didn't want to go to parties, and I preferred staying home on a Friday night. In a group of people, who were all lively and chatty, I felt like I didn't belong. I can't remember how many times I was asked "are you okay," when I was only keeping to myself; or sarcastically told, "Cassie, be quiet, you're being too loud!" I wished I could be more like them, funny, sociable. I was completely insecure about my personality, and I didn't like people drawing attention to my differences.

Even with my prior knowledge of the characteristics of an introvert through my research on HSPs, this piece helped me understand myself a whole lot more, and took me another step further on my path to believing I'm okay the way I am. Rauch believes, "if we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, more peaceful sort of place." I happen to agree.

Thank Goodness For Soy Lattes

Our culture is awakening, however slowly, to the 'special needs,' as my family refers to mine, of sensitive stomachs. A half hour drive from my house is a large farm market called Soergel's. They have an entire building of dairy and gluten-free foods with everything from pizza, pasta and bread to waffles and soy ice cream. 

It isn't cheap, but thankfully my mother, who is more excited by our trips to the market than I am, buys me whatever my once bloated, now trim tummy desires. "How about this...or maybe some of these?" She asks, eagerly buzzing around the store. They are brands I've never heard of, but most of the food is purely decadent in its lack of ravenous wheat, rye, barley and lactose. I can even find a few shelves full of gluten-free foods at most Wal-marts, and some Giant Eagle's.  

With my estrangement from dairy being recent, I'm not yet entirely familiar with the do's and don'ts, and what my alternative options are. One thing I had loved, and given up, was green tea lattes from Starbucks. As I mourned the loss of my beloved drink while my mother and sister suggested a trip to the coffee chain the other day, two words appeared in the black space behind my forehead like chalk on a blackboard: soy latte. "Hey, Starbucks has soy lattes," I said matter of factly, my lips parting and spreading wide. "Oh my goodness! How did we not think of that?" My mother shrieked.

As I sipped my soy green tea latte, its taste similar to that of a waffle cone, the sweet combination of vanilla and green tea lathered my taste buds and lapped the insides of my cheeks. I was instantly and viscously thankful for everything edible, lovely to taste, and yet gentle enough for me to consume. 

Sip after glorious sip, I waited for my insides to churn, tumble and grumble, but they remained calm and undisrupted, like the difference between a lake on a clear day and a sea caught in the grip of a storm.

Complexity of the Creative Personality

One of my favorite topics from talentdevelop.com, and the article I read recently, is The Complexity of the Creative Personality, by Douglas Eby. I constantly feel so complex--in one moment, I can be both happy and sad, highly optimistic and extremely worried, craving company, but also isolation.

 The article begins with a quote from a creativity researcher, who says creative people are so complex, "instead of being an individual, they are a multitude." He describes personality characteristics of creative individuals as:

   -Humble and proud, both painfully self-doubting and wildly self-confident.
   -Both extraverted and introverted, needing people and solitude equally.
   -Smart and naive at the same time. A mix of wisdom and childishness. Emotional immaturity along with the deepest insights.
   -Convergent and divergent thinking.
   -A great deal of physical energy alternating with a great need for quiet and rest.
   -May defy gender stereotypes.

Hearing famous actors talk about being shy has always fascinated me. I think, how can you be a celebrity, how can you be in front of a camera for your job, and be shy. But, it makes sense. After all, these are highly sensitive, highly creative people, so they are bound to be introverted, shy, complex.

In an interview, Sigourney Weaver commented, "Sometimes because I am very shy, when I meet a director, and they are shy too, we just sort of sit there."

Similarly, Evan Rachel Wood admits, "I used to not even be able to order pizza on the phone because I was just so shy."

Nicole Kidman has said, "It was very natural for me to want to disappear into dark theater, I am really very shy."

I've always wanted to try acting, but told myself I could never do it because I'm too shy. Maybe I'll give it a try.