"I'm OK, you're OK-in small doses"

I recently read a wonderful piece called "Caring for Your Introvert," in which Jonathan Rauch provides clarity and insight into the world of introverts, only 25 percent of people, and sorely misunderstood by the rest of the population, the extraverts, who, according to Rauch "cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone."

The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself. While extraverts are energized by people, introverts find other people tiring. I hate small talk. I get bored at parties. When I'm around people for more than an hour, sometimes less, I get irritated, even angry, and feel a strong desire to crawl into a deep, quiet hole in the ground and curl up into the shape of a tiny ball. I need hours alone each day to be with my thoughts and to recuperate from social interaction. For this, Rauch provides a formula..."roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing." Sounds good to me.

Rauch believes introverts are oppressed, and I would say he's right. Perhaps this is because we are a minority, and extraverts are generally seen as the norm in any social setting and in public life, such as politics. Rauch explains, "being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of confidence, happiness, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. 'People person' is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like 'guarded,' 'loner,' 'reserved'..." and other titles that suggest we are unsociable or have poor social skills.

I used to believe there was something wrong with me because I didn't want to go to parties, and I preferred staying home on a Friday night. In a group of people, who were all lively and chatty, I felt like I didn't belong. I can't remember how many times I was asked "are you okay," when I was only keeping to myself; or sarcastically told, "Cassie, be quiet, you're being too loud!" I wished I could be more like them, funny, sociable. I was completely insecure about my personality, and I didn't like people drawing attention to my differences.

Even with my prior knowledge of the characteristics of an introvert through my research on HSPs, this piece helped me understand myself a whole lot more, and took me another step further on my path to believing I'm okay the way I am. Rauch believes, "if we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, more peaceful sort of place." I happen to agree.